Chinese New Year conversation snippets

  Everyone young enough to be considered young knows this drill; at every gathering during Chinese New Year comes the usual slew of questions, continued yearly like anti-depressants for a chronically depressed person: “Have you grown taller?” “Which school/university/ place are you studying/working at now?” If a child was young enough, “What grades did you…

Why The Shape of Water is relatable

Alright readers, this post was meant for yesterday Friday Singapore time but this week hasn’t been good at all, what being sick from my body adjusting to the new mirtazapine I was prescribed after my former fluvoxamine crashed my quality of life by stringing me out to exhaustion via shouting in my sleep every time…..

Visual and auditory involuntary coping mechanisms

For the symptoms which interfere with quality of life, we take medication. For the rest of it we just have to learn to live in harmony with our own minds, even if our minds have gone down the rabbit hole into Wonderland. It seems my brain has come up with it’s own coping mechanisms for…

Polyclinic: Room anonymous; and All this in the name of sanity.

“Can the patient number two-four-six-five kindly proceed to room seventy-six, thank you? “ I’ve discovered, with time and returned visits to the same polyclinic, one thing about it’s operations. The many numbered rooms are clusters of different departments of a practice that would normally be named in a hospital. The series of sixties and seventies…

23:06

Last night I dreamt I went to a gay bar alone (this part probably courtesy of The Shape of Water film which I watched). Then I went to a buffet where they had both raw and cooked seafood, cakes, cookies, salads, ¬†everything there. There were certain moments of tension which I don’t remember, though I…

Edgar Allen Poe-ish nightmares and almost-philosophy

I found out a few things: 1) I was right to sleep only at 6am prior to me being prescribed medication. 2) I now understand why Countess Andrenyi takes barbital to sleep during the day. The night, it seems, is the reigning time for nightmares. 3) Apparently my brain is perfectly capable of terrorizing me…

The rare unmedicated good night’s sleep

I had that rare good night’s sleep, despite having dreamt of suicide by coal briquette, sexual assault and my own film premiere. Funny how all this sounds like a contradiction, yet all of it is true. Truth is stranger than fiction. I was right about the hydroxyzine after all. I do feel refreshed today and…

Things I Gleaned from my First 14 Days on Anti-Depressants

Now that my first 14 days on antidepressants are over I thought it would make it meaningful to make this short list of the coping strategies that works for me. I’ll never be the same after this. In just 2 weeks I have gone through a tumble of changing emotions and predicaments which happened to…

Medical explanations, doctor’s edition.

Day 14/14, fluvoxamine. Tuesday. Good news, both my liver and kidneys are in good condition despite my past OD-ing during my self-destructive relapse in my teens.. I heaved a sigh of relief and thanked God for it in the consultation room. I was actually expecting the doctor to say there was a bit of damage…