Eye of the Storm

I’ve heard this saying somewhere that the eye of a storm is the calmest spot.

That aptly describes me whenever it’s deadlines looming time. Come Sunday I’ll only have 1 week left to do one of my essays before having just 1 week to do my other. I’ve been panicked all week last week and my brain refuses to give up any words to put into my document. However thankfully I had some flow last evening, and I would only get to work on it again tommorow evening, as I have an errand to run in the city area tommorow come daylight as well as catching a 3pm double bill play at an arts school in the same vicinity.

Part of what I look forward to is the putting on make up part when dressing to go out part. I haven’t had the high I always get when I dress well to go out the entire day and feel a lot better about myself in a while. That always seems to pep my mood up much more effectively than anything else these days. Seems like I’m still clinically depressed though held back in check by mirtazapine. On that note, I finally got my appointment for a psychiatrist at KTPH. I was blown away that they took 2 weeks to set a appointment for 2 weeks from now, while the first hospital dragged my case for EIGHT months. How startling a pleasant discovery is that. I was in a major mood dip for three days until I got the text, partly because some doctors were pushing me onto contraceptives needlessly for my non-existent menses. However my mom went in with me this week and after standing firm for quite a while we got the norethisterone, hard won.

The doctors’ rationale is that taking norE is just sweeping the issue under the carpet as the problem will still persist and the pills are hormonal. It’s a load of BS, seeing as contraceptives are hormonal as well except I have to take it daily instead of just 7 days in a month, notwithstanding the many unpleasant side effects of contraceptives. I also do not have many gynaecological problems besides the non-existence of my menses. Technically taking contraceptives is also ‘sweeping the issue under the carpet’ as my non-menses will continue if I stop taking them anyway. It was really anger-inducing especially to my mom, as none of their recommendations make logical sense and seemed more steeped in convenient wordplay. It seems a ploy to get more money out of me than anything else except for the fact that me and my mom have no more money to give them for unnecessary medication and further health checks (which I already got done just 3 months ago). All in all, the healthcare system can be infuriating and doctors can sometimes appear vulture-like. I won’t be trusting doctors blindly from here on.

I always aspire to finish my assignments early but all these semester’s it never panned out that day. I do pray the outlook for my dissertation is much brighter, seeing as I’ve been advised by my dissertation supervisor to do some primary research as it will add credibility to my own original research topic. After my final assignment deadline for this term it means I’ll only have two months to carry out the research.

Maybe I’ll figure out Google surveys and put the link here? Surveys I’m intending to do will be anonymous with no contact information needed.


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