Edgar Allen Poe-ish nightmares and almost-philosophy

I found out a few things: 1) I was right to sleep only at 6am prior to me being prescribed medication. 2) I now understand why Countess Andrenyi takes barbital to sleep during the day. The night, it seems, is the reigning time for nightmares. 3) Apparently my brain is perfectly capable of terrorizing me…

The rare unmedicated good night’s sleep

I had that rare good night’s sleep, despite having dreamt of suicide by coal briquette, sexual assault and my own film premiere. Funny how all this sounds like a contradiction, yet all of it is true. Truth is stranger than fiction. I was right about the hydroxyzine after all. I do feel refreshed today and…

Things I Gleaned from my First 14 Days on Anti-Depressants

Now that my first 14 days on antidepressants are over I thought it would make it meaningful to make this short list of the coping strategies that works for me. I’ll never be the same after this. In just 2 weeks I have gone through a tumble of changing emotions and predicaments which happened to…

Medical explanations, doctor’s edition.

Day 14/14, fluvoxamine. Tuesday. Good news, both my liver and kidneys are in good condition despite my past OD-ing during my self-destructive relapse in my teens.. I heaved a sigh of relief and thanked God for it in the consultation room. I was actually expecting the doctor to say there was a bit of damage…

Recurring bad dreams and an Ikea trip

Day 12.5/14, fluvoxamine. Sunday. I don’t want to have to take a lot of medications everyday, so I went without the hydroxyzine on Saturday night after having already taken it two nights in a row. It backfired on me, had a exhausting bad dream. It’s inconsequential to share what went on in the dream, however…

ALONE time. Unhelpful Christians, and suicide thoughts.

Day 11/14, fluvoxamine. Saturday. I need some space alone right now. I’ve been out all day and what I wanted most perhaps as much as a good dinner is time away from crowds. I went to Fantasy Desserts at Orchard Gateway after my creative writing workshop at Goodman Arts Centre wrapped up for the rare…

Service animals and brain silencers

Day 10/14, fluvoxamine. Friday. My mom said last night that if she were me she won’t be able to live. Medicated and unable to work. = no food on the table. Well it’s good that this health calamity is upon me, who’s having a semester progression break, and not her, the household sole breadwinner then….

Restless sleep, so many questions.

Day 9/14, fluvoxamine. Thursday. I did not have a restful sleep last night. I find it hard to comprehend fully what went through my head while I was asleep, but it definitely involved a lot of going about here and there, a fear of running into ghosts (a continuation of one of my past bad…