Update and a compilation song/poem

It has been a week since I last was here! Chinese New Year and Valentine’s have bboth come and gone. Both have been ho-hum overall, I went to Malaysia for CNY with my mother to visit my maternal side of the family (I don’t contact my father and his family). To be honest most of Chinese New Year is spent stoning while the elders talk when you’re at others’ houses. Now that the Asian festivities have come and gone, I’m back in my home country again (been so for a week). As for Valentine’s I spent the day being half-sick with a runny nose and a serious mouth ulcer I’m still healing from.

A lot of us usher in new year with having past baggage. Past regrets, bad experiences and people. Sometimes we just need a cathartic release. For me I do that most effectively through creative expression. I remember when I was 14 I went Taylor Swift-y with my songwriting by writing a lot about this guy I had a ambiguous relationship with. I’m definitely not proud of it- Taylor Swift called and she says she wants her job back anyway, which I complied with. Thankfully I no longer diss guys in songs I write, however when push comes to shove I still need a creative release.

I’m stuck between writing a full length personal essay and a song or poem, but I don’t want to get to specific, as I don’t want my own personal life to be the main material in my own blog. I’m not up to the task of writing my own material so I’m going to create my own compilation song medley/poem using existing song lyrics (not my own) rom songs I’ve been resonating with. Strategically metered and edited. 🙂

Here’s a poem for the ghosts of our past, whatever that may be!

Remember the moment you left me alone and
Broke every promise you ever made

I made a point to burn all of the photographs
He went away and then I took a different path
I remember the face but I can’t recall the name
Now I wonder how whathisname has been

Seems that he disappeared without a trace
Did he ever marry old what’s her face?

And I didn’t wanna write a song
‘Cause I didn’t want anyone thinking I still care, I don’t
But, you still hit my phone up
And baby I be moving on

The sticks and the stones that
You used to throw have
Built me an empire
So don’t even try
To cry me a river
Cause I forgive you
You are the reason I still write

Remember, whatever
It seems like forever ago
Remember, whatever
It seems like forever ago
The regrets are useless
In my mind
He’s in my head
I must confess
The regrets are useless
In my mind
He’s in my head
From so long ago

And I think you should be somethin’ I don’t wanna hold back
Maybe you should know that
My mama don’t like you and she like’s everyone
And I never like to admit that I was wrong

I’ll leave you choking
On every word you left unspoken
Rebuild all that you’ve broken
And now you know

Every wound will shape me
Every scar will build my throne

And in the darkest night
If my memory serves me right
I’ll never turn back time
Forgetting you, but not the time.

‘Cause if you hate the way you look that much
Oh baby you should go and love yourself
And if you think that I’m still holdin’ on to somethin’
You should go and love yourself

For all the times that you made me feel small
I loved you now I fear nothin’ at all
I never felt so low when I was vulnerable
Was I a fool to let you break down my walls?


Songs used (by order):

Bring Me The Horizon- Throne

Green Day- Whatsername

Justin Bieber- Love Yourself

That’s it for now, readers! Have a good day or night, wherever in the world you are!


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