Writing

The Careless Mouse (Flash fiction attempt)

Day before, I met with a very unusual incident in which a mouse slammed into my foot because it wasn’t looking before it sprinted for the other side of the grass across the pavement I was walking on. I’m going to attempt a flash fiction under 200 words,which I’ll attempt to write in the perspective of the mouse, with whatever comedic angle I can muster. (I’m not cut out for this.) 

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There are many things that could go bump during the night, and worse. Like the ginger cat that lived opposite,which caught Sandy the Tiny, whom we never saw again. Everyone in the nest knew to always sniff the air before dashing for it. It was finally my turn to prove to the nest that I was as brave as a cheese-catcher.

It was a night like any other. No smell of cat anywhere. I got out from my burrow and sprinted. It happened so fast I had no time to think. I might’ve ran into a big cat. But it wasn’t the right size for a cat. Its size was ginormous. My face slammed into the alien absence of fur. In that split second, whatever I bumped into lifted itself up, then again. A foot, I think. Mama always told us we would recognise a human when we saw one, but she didn’t tell us how big a human will be. Terrified that my tail would be stepped on and made limp for life, I squeaked in sheer terror while bounding over in a milisecond to the other side of the grass, where I saw my older brother looking over grass tips at me in horror. The human said some words over to the side of the grass where I froze, traumatized. I don’t know human speak, but whatever was said sounded bad.

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I’m not good at this. Personally this is very choppy and I do not like the flow of this, but I don’t know how I can work on this to kick this up another notch, on the other hand.  Constructive feedback will be appreciated.

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