Somewhere in between December 15’s free-write challenge, I started to get bored of writing my own stories. Apparrently that sense of boredom as transferable to those who read whatever I put out at that time, as I wrote into silence once again.
The free-write challenge did teach me that if I get bored writing my own stories, people will be bored reading it too. However since I can’t control the public reception to what I write- it’s best to just screw everything and entertain myself first by WHAT I choose to write.
This is my first time writing shorts with some sort of structure, so I’m in the process of getting to know myself more as a writer. Sometimes I feel exhilaration when I write, sometimes I feel more I-don’t-know-what-the-hell-I-am-doing. Groping in the dark and winging it as they say.
From all the short stories I’ve written, I realise that I tend to write in flashback form- meaning I write about a situation the character is currently in, and then leads the writer to how he/she ended there. Travel a nature trail too often and it’s not awe-inducing anymore, that’s how it’s like for me currently now.
I’ll explore new ways of writing the next time I write another short.
These few days I’ve been playing the Sims 3, reading Amber Brown books which I’m legally too old for. Still I have found the books riveting as it is through the perspective of a 9 year old girl as things change after her parents divorce. It’s incredible how Paula Danziger gets into the psyche of a young girl and the feels she seamlessly packs in two pages. Perhaps in another blog post I’ll do a brief review on all the Amber Brown books I’ve managed to read the whole week. I borrowed 5 and am currently in the middle of the last one.
On Sunday and and Monday, I worked on story/plot ideas for my Kevin & Melrose story. The main one, which I do not upload here. The shorts I do of them on this blog is a spin-off of the original idea, my way of trying to get to know their worlds better. It’s helped some, but I still need a concrete plot and themes and sub-plots and whatnot. I’ve read somewhere that there are several kinds of writers and I’m apparently an avid plotter.
After talking to an online friend about my story idea I realised what I currently have is a common idea, and the kind that I’ll probably make myself sleepy by writing. Right now I’ll just leave it aside for now.
To be honest, this is a time where I feel like the story idea may never come to fruition and that I’m getting carried away by what I personally want to do. Perhaps in one aspect or another I am. However I’m sure if it’s something meant to happen things will fall into its rightful place at the right time. Feelings are not neccesarily reality too and I’m sure inspiration of originality may come soon, just not right now.
This week will be a busier one for me as I need to look into polytechnics’ open houses and look at courses I want to apply for when registration opens next month. I’ve spent last year just working part-time to gain my own spending allowance as well as utilising my long-forgotten writing skill and honestly I just wish to progress in my own education now. [I hope I get in somewhere that is arts involved. Arts and business management maybe? But I choose to trust the God who holds the key to opened doors.]
I really do hope I’ll get accepted into a course I truly do enjoy learning this year- in an industry that I’ll enjoy contributing to. My mother personally wishes for me to go into healthcare as its lucrative and this is only something I shared with my previous work bosses and 1 friend.. whenever studying healthcare is mentioned a part of me dies inside, though I don’t know why.
When it comes to studying something that is lucrative I’ve been there and done that- that’s the reason why I chose to study Hospitality Operations in vocational college (ITE). However things didn’t pan out smooth at all and it was plain to everyone especially during my internship that it wasn’t my forte. I appreciated what I had gained through my time of study there but I definitely won’t be returning to the hotel line after I’ve completed and graduated with my vocational diploma.
No passion, but my hard work paid off though. I attained a good progress award for my time in ITE after I graduated. Gloria in excelsis Deo!
This time as I go into open houses to seek more information about courses I’m going to choose to apply in courses that will give me the opportunities in industries I actually want to contribute to. I care about things that are put out to the world, so I’m going to go for courses that revolve around that… Fingers crossed.
While I am someone who believes in God I cannot deny that I personally do feel nervous. Still, I am confident of God’s sovereignty. From fellow brothers and sisters in Christ, I’ve had consistent word that God will lead me to the right places and people consistently for the past year. This time will be a ripe time for me to put faith over fear I guess. I’ve have had a relationship with Christ since I was 14 and these things don’t get easier especially in uncertain times. We just learn more about God and trust more in the midst of uncertainty as we know Him more.
Right now, in the words of Dory, the thing to do now is to just keep swimming, keep swimming, keep swimming. Sometimes we just have to do what we know we have to do.
Signing off, TTYL. Have a good day or night, wherever in the world you are!